The Enemy has been Defeated!!!

"The enemy has been defeated,
death couldn't hold him down,
we're going to lift our voice in victory,
going to make our praises loud,
BECAUSE THE ENEMY HAS BEEN DEFEATED!!"

No longer a hold on my life, no longer will your lies and pain fill my life. You've been defeated once again. The hold you were beginning to have on me has been broken, by a much loving and caring hand, a hand that i know will never leave me, nor forsake me. You can't touch me when i am in his presence, and from now on, i'm going to be surrounded by him and he's powerful presence. I've had enough of your lies, enough of the pain that you've tried to place on me, i'm tired of it. YOU'VE BEEN DEFEATED!!! Each and everytime you come up against me and my God, you will be DEFEATED!!

I may not be able to feel God fully, but it is coming back, each and everyday i'm beginning to feel him more. I know he hasn't left me, and i know he will never leave me. He loves me and through this difficult time, he allowed himself to remain a little distant in order for me to grow in my faith and trust. It wasn't all fun and games, but i have learned sooo much, and i wouldn't change anything that has happened. Yes i want me brother here with me, but this was how God planned for it to be. He saw that Edward was hurting, and it ached him, and he wasn't able to take it anymore, so he placed him in a better place, and place where he could hold him in his arms and take care of him, and one day, that will be me holding Edward in my arms again.

It's crazy how when your heart is breaking, you tend to learn the most if you allow yourself. I've heard it many times before, "it's in the valley where you grow", but now i have a great appreciation for it. This past year has been a "valley year", but it's been a growing year. I grew in my character, i grew in my understanding of God and he's perfect peace that surpasses all understandings. I'll admit i didn't always enjoy the "valley times," but i know htey were essential for the development of my character. And i thank God for those times, because it drew me closer to him, although i wasn't able to feel him, his presence never left me.

While this past year has been a growing year, so will this summer. With a new experience ahead of me i look forward to my "god teaching moments." Moments where i'm able to simply bask in his love and peace, moments where i just stand in awe of all he has done and created, moments where i'm able to show his love and teachings, moments where i am just simply loved unconditional by him.

Here's to the beginning of a new roller coaster ride!